Once upon a time there was a kitten, let’s call him Johnny. It was an ordinary kitten, the same as billions of other kitties on the Earth. He loved his mom and enjoyed every day of his life. By the way, in those times every day of his life was sunny in spite of weather condition outdoors.
Johnny enjoyed everything and sometimes didn’t make note of sad look of his old grannies. He hadn’t got any grandpas because one of them was fallen in the Great War, second survived two Great Wars, but passed away before Johnny has been born. Johnny had no idea about a real Revolution and Gulag. Grannies remembered it very well but didn’t like to tell much about it.
Johnny loved his mommy more than anything in the world and thought that mommy knows everything and she is able to do everything. He thought that his mommy will live forever, and will love and protect him forever. Everything seemed stable and well-ordered for him.
Johnny’s father, of course, was the strongest tomcat in the world. Sometimes father was teaching Johnny how to ride a bicycle, how to ski, how to skate and how to make slingshot and shoot from this catapult. Johnny had the best parents in the world and was very happy with his family.
As all of his friends, Johnny was living severe life and enjoyed simple things. This is because of his Country, which was usually called Motherland, or Union. When he played with his friends, he doesn’t need expensive and beautiful toys – ordinary wooden stick would be taken as a rifle, for example. All that he needed was imagination, and he had enough of this. He had never been to other countries, but radio and TV said that people in other countries are suffer and live much worst life than people of Motherland.
Sometimes parents bought a pet for Johnny. But pets sometimes died and Johnny was so unhappy, that was crying all night long. Johnny was very good kitten. He felt pity to those who suffered. He didn’t want bird to suffer, so he let it go.
Also Johnny was dreaming about flying in the sky. Every night, when he went to the bed, he was dreaming and making his own stories about a strong and brave tomcat (which Johnny supposed to be when grows up) who could fly and was doing heroic things as all of heroes use to do usually.
But Johnny also had a nightmare. He was terrified of enemies of his Motherland, which wanted to start the war. He knew that the powerful army of the Union will fight any enemy back, but he was afraid of war. He was afraid because he knew that the Red Button may be pressed at any time and the Third, the Last war may begin.
Johnny knew that people from both sides – from his Motherland and their Enemies will die in the Last war. He doesn’t understand why people cannot make an agreement and destroy all of horrible nukes. It was so simple and understandable for him, that nukes are evil and have to be destroyed immediately, that he was astonished why his government didn’t do it so far.
Johnny didn’t want to die, the same as he didn’t want enemy people to die. He was not able to pray (nobody taught him how to pray). His parents were atheists. So before falling asleep Johnny usually sang a song about peace and wished peace for all people in the world.
Eventually Johnny’s happy and light-hearted childhood came to the end. Johnny grew up, met a beautiful Kitty – the only love of his life and got married.
After some time he had got some kids and become a father.
Suddenly his Country, his Motherland had fallen down and split to dozen of new Countries. It was so suddenly and unexpected that almost nobody knew what to do with it and how to live in Capitalism. Those who knew became millionaires, but most of people became beggars.
Along with wealth the morality of people had fallen down dramatically. Roughness and violence become a norm and could be seen everywhere. Nobody could feel yourselves protected.
Nobody, but gangsters could feel good those times. To be a gangster becomes a good thing. Everybody wanted to be a gangster. Gangsters had guns, money, girls, drugs and where living rush, bright but short life.
Johnny had some friends from gangsters. But not everybody was so successful to survive till now. Only little number from all Country survived, all of them are politicians now. One of them even become the President, but Johnny was not familiar with him. So, it couldn’t give him a chance to be a member of Chamber of Ministers.
Johnny didn’t want to be a gangster and joined the Army. There he graduated a Military Academy and become an officer.
It was quite surprisingly for his colleagues, because Johnny was over-educated from army’s point of view. He graduated a school with the Silver Medal and Academy with honor. Most of his colleagues thought that military has to be stupid but obedient, that’s enough for following orders. Johnny had another opinion. He wanted to make the Army better.
One day Johnny went to the war. It was foreign war. Johnny’s Country had nothing to do there, but they sent their troops pretending to be a part of the “democratic world”. There Johnny learned a fear. After couple of month, living under permanent threat for his life, fear disappeared and Johnny learned a hate. Everything was simple and uncomplicated in that war. Johnny hated the enemy as hell and felt no pity to them, even to their kids. There was one goal – to survive. Johnny stopped to be afraid of death. He knew that if something happened, he would sold his life with big price, killing as much enemy soldiers as he could, to the last round, and then killing them with bare hands.
Johnny knew that his kids are waiting for him. They love Johnny so much that he couldn’t die. After one and a half of year spent in combat zone, Johnny returned home.
While returning home Johnny found his Country much more strange and unfamiliar than before. Stupidity, dissolution of morals, cruelty and lie penetrated all spheres of life in his Country. Everything becomes a Theater of Absurd. Corruption was eating society as a worm is eating apple. So, Johnny didn’t hesitate when received proposal to join the Secret Service.
Working for Secret Service, Johnny made not a bad career, raised to the rank of lieutenant-colonel at the Apparatus of Head of the Secret Service.
Johnny planned and fulfilled some special operations against foreign secret agents. He was receiving information about enemy influence to the highest level of native government. But all of power of Secret Service was under control of the enemy. Thus, Secret Service became a weapon in hands of the gangsters and enemy, aimed on the disagreeable people. Businessmen, competitors, politicians. Some of local people were punished. Some careers were ruined. Some of them were arrested and got to the jail. The Secret Service hunted people as animals.
Johnny saw that people lost all their rights. There was no fair court in his Country any more. There were no rights and protection any more. Guilty people could avoid a justice. In the same time, innocent people couldn’t avoid being taken to the jail. It was just matter of money and connections. There was a lie. Everything was unfair. Everybody understood it but preferred to pretend doing right things. Theater of Absurd enveloped all of social life.
Having information about what really was going on in his Country, Johnny saw complete picture of what were happening and where Country was moving. Picture was rather sad.
Having all resources of the Country in their hands, rich gangsters became richer, respectable and respected Masters of Life.
Abyss between them and ordinary people grew every day bigger and bigger. They didn’t need citizens, they needed slaves. And they got them. Country became a Banana Republic of Third World.
Intellectuals of the Country had only one way – to be clowns with the weak salary at the service of complete scoundrels.
Or leave the Country.
The main part of community, poor educated and stupid was well guided by gangsters at power; they were predictable and made no danger for regime. They were proud of stupid things and thought that other Countries were afraid of their own Country. That was enough for them to be happy in some sort. Additionally, vodka and beer made their slavish lives little bit easier.
The oldest part of society (well educated people) was dreaming about reanimation of the Union. They were credulous and were simply cheated by gangsters who pretended to be communists. Old people were refusing modern reality and continue to live in the Past, which doesn’t exist any more.
The rest of politicians who called their selves as an “opposition to regime” accepted their roles in the Theater of Absurd on voluntary lines. This is because their real goal was not to change life of citizens to better. Their real goal was to become a power personally and switch flow of money to their own pockets. They acted as sailors that having fun on board of the sinking ship while playing their roles in the Theater of Absurd.
All society of the Country became the Theater of Absurd. Everybody was playing his own role and was unhappy of this. Everybody lied. Everybody was wearing a mask. In the very depth of their souls people were good and kind, and they suffered from impossibility to change the Country to best and to refuse playing roles in the Theater of Absurd.
Johnny understood that the Theater of Absurd had to have a Producer, the Master of Puppets. It might be the Masonic lodge, or Rockefellers, or Jewish World Government, or even an Ancient Aliens Anunakis with Reptilian Aliens together. It was doesn’t matter until you cannot find and kill them. At the same time Johnny couldn’t stand any more to serve for them. Johnny broke the rules and quit with working for Secret Service. Johnny wanted to do something good for other people, something helpful. He became his civil life as a manufacturer of goods.
As a most of active and determined people of his Country, Johnny made an attempt to immigrate into the better country of First World. Especially because his sister has already been a First Country citizen for a long time. Johnny helped her to emigrate by the marriage long time ago, just after the crush of the Union.
But his attempt failed because of Security Service of the Country of First World, which made some records of Johnny's life. As everywhere in the World, that Country played double game too. The fact that Johnny took part in their war on their side didn’t count. Human rights and equality was just a mask under which they provided hard foreign policy.
It is true, that nothing appears from nowhere and nothing disappears anywhere. If some people live better than average, some people have to live worst than average. Especially because of external debt, this is about 1.5 times distance from Earth to the Moon, if we lay it down in stack of denomination of 100. They didn’t want Johnny, they were afraid of him. They just wanted foreign scientists and programmers, who had to do technological advance for them.
Then Johnny looked into the depth of his own soul. Johnny recognized there a little kitten who liked to dream of flying in the sky, which he used to be long time ago. Kitten grew up, obtain sharp fangs and claws, but he still wanted to fly. And he didn’t want anybody else to suffer, for sure.
Johnny understood that if he wants to change the world, not necessary to force other people to do it. You just have to start from yourself. Change yourself if you want to change the world.
Johnny understood that in the Nature there is no good or evil. There just flow of eternity. And every soul of every creature is the part of a single whole. Snow is cold, wind blows, water flows, and there are butterflies in the summer. Thus everybody will sit for his own examination of what he had done during his life. And that the lie is the most awful thing and the deadly sin, especially lie to yourself.
Johnny had also learned that the law is bullshit. In his Country laws were written mainly to make stealing of money easier. There are simple and understandable things, common to all humankind – what would be good and what would be bad for the other people. This is the law. Respect yourself, respect other people, and don’t do anything bad to other people. What would be simplest? Don’t believe anybody, especially "authorities", until you let their ideas pass through your heart and find that they good for other people. Protect yourself, your family. This is very important thing.
Appreciate and enjoy simple and true feelings, love of relatives and intimate people, cherish it. This is what you cannot buy for any money.
Enjoy every minute of being with your kids. Play with them, teach them. This is the main sense of your life.
Bring a bit of light of your soul into this world. You will do it indirectly, by making yourself and your loving people better. Don’t compare yourself to anybody, but you in previous times.
As doing this, you will recognize a God inside yourself, because the God is the part of you, as the part of everything in the Universe.
In this way Johnny become a Man. He started to feel taste of apples and wine again. It was taste of life. He breathed delicious air and enjoyed it. He was not anybody's slave any more. He was free man of free will. When he was dreaming of flying in the sky, he was smiling in his sleep. And his kids were smiling with him too.
*Especially thanks to famous Russian artist Vasia Lozhkin, whose paintings were used in this essay.